Saturday, October 3, 2009

Getting Mobile


AHHHH....the lazy days of snuggling with baby who was a prisoner to the way I position him are now long over. He has now discovered that his arms and legs reposition any which way he fancies....to my sudden yet short-felt dismay. Development is a beautiful thing, yes I agree, however: IT MEANS YOU NEVER GET TO SIT DOWN...EVER!!!!!! Whoa!

Currently, we're battling our first illness. Boy that's painful, those once quiet nights give way to middle of the night crying, once again reminding us of the newborn days. So a gallon of Vapo-Steam and three Barefoot Contessa books tucked under one side of his mattress later, we're still dealing with a little congestion and a fever here and there. Just enough to put this new mom over the edge. As if worrying about the Swine Flu wasn't enough, I'm ready to build a bomb shelter under the house. Call me in March. We'll emerge pale, light sensitive, and hairy.

Speaking of hairy, that leads me to my latest Parenthood discoveries list:

1) Shaving. Now, is it really necessary? I mean, so many other things have been cut out of my life. Why not use that little time-saving treasure in the shower? It's a constant internal struggle every morning. (This may be TMI, but who am I to withhold information?) I shave my armpits every morning. That cannot go untreated, because, well that's just disgusting. But razor in hand, I always look at my legs and begin this dialogue in my head:
-I felt a temperature below 70 degrees the other day. I can just wear pants.
-But, Tony might be disgusted if I get into bed tonight with prickly legs.
-Well, I bet it will grow enough to become soft by then. You know, soft flowing
leg hair?
-You're right. Let's skip today. We'll use extra lotion.
BOOM! I'm outta the shower in 5 minutes. Nice....

2) Rolling. Boy that sure was cute for five minutes. Now I have to strap Harrison in my papoose in order to get anything done. If I walk away for two seconds, he could manage to roll to Frisco if the front door was open. But at night? A big case of the Sundowners Syndrome. Oh, well he rolls onto his stomach and then he can't figure out how to get back over, so let's just cry until Mommy or Daddy flips me. We stopped flipping. Tough love, right?

3)Solids+Talking=Stained clothes. This child is so my husband's offspring. We've started mini-discipline during feeding time because he REALLY enjoys blowing raspberries into the spoon, thus creating a prune/banana/applesauce/pea Tidal Wave. Tasty. When I look at him sternly and say, "Harrison! NO." He drops his little chin and gives me this flirty look as if to say, "Yeah right, Mommy. I'll just whip up a fever here real fast and I'll have YOU eating out of the palm of MY hand!" And he's right.

4) Holy explosion in the diaper running down your leg, Batman! What in the grossest poop ever is going on here? Damn solids.

5) Ahhh....we revisit intimacy. Yeah, go ahead, have one teeny, tiny, dirty thought and it's meltdown city and Harrison's the mayor. Abort the mission, you've got a baby! You silly adult with adult needs! Forget 'em!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST......

6) Have you seen What About Bob? Please tell me you have...and that you remember the scene where he's sleeping and no one can wake him up. They jump on the bed, scream in his ear, hit him...and it isn't until the tiny bell from his tiny alarm clock dings and he arises instantaneously...as if nothing has happened.
Well, the freaking Polar Express could blow straight through my living room and this baby won't wake up. Oh, but sneeze upstairs on the other side of the house and you can consider that nap OVER! Baby steps for shiz....

I love this baby and seeing all of the wonderful new developments that happen, literally, daily. What a blessing it is to see such a little miracle (my fifteen pound miracle, mind you) change and grow. I got my first hug and kiss the other day. Sloppy, but joyous. Our precious son, as time goes by becomes more and more like us. I'll try to remember that when we're experiencing his first time-out, or God forbid, spanking!

I think we'll stick with one child for now...Box wine, where are you?

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